Saturday, November 19, 2011

Bridesmaids in Black: Funereal or Chic?

Please, let me credit you. Not sure where I got this from.

Oh my.
I've been silent this week because after an intense tasting with a potential caterer, my fiancee and his mother, there wasn't a whole lot to say. I was in shock for a good 24 hours after being verbally steam rollered on repeat for god knows how long. I'm not going to go into extreme detail, so a lot of this won't really sound that bad because it's out of context.
If you were there in person and got the full picture, let me tell you - it was something else.

 First question after sitting down with the caterer is: why are we having a caterer? Why aren't we getting married at one of the places where you don't have to rent the table cloths, the plates and the napkins? Don`t I know how much work this will be to organize?
AlI I can think is why didn't we have this conversation in the car or better yet, before I confirmed the tasting. She then starts asking about how much we paid for the venue and if we can get our money back, just keeps going.

To be fair to her: she is not in the loop about our plans because we haven't seen her lately.

To be fair to us/me: I didn't know she wanted to help pay until well after I started planning - which was two whole seconds after the engagement because despite not being a wedding person, I just want to get the sh*t done.

On top of it, I would rather get married at a place where they already have everything. I don't care about napkins and silverware. The thought of picking that stuff out gives me a headache, except that the places I liked either came in at $250 a head or don't fit my oversized immediate family.
Yes, I always thought that if I ever got married it would be at City Hall followed by dinner or lunch at a great restaurant. Guess what? The thought of cutting out most of my family and friends from sharing that with me broke my heart. So here we are, at this weird diner in an industrial area tasting our potential wedding menu.

Anyhow, let's skip ahead. This is about bridesmaids in black after all.
If you want to read the best wedding rant ever check out The Ranty Bride (Liz Lewis).
It encapsulates 99.9% of how I feel and frankly I started this blog to be positive, not to rant (I know, too late...).
Saying yes is about being open to things you never thought you would. Sound cheesy? To quote a certain NDP member: f*ck you. Seriously. I struggle against my own negativism every day and want to enjoy this.

Fast forward to: wedding colours. As I've mentioned before, the colour of the hall is this:

What matches with salmon? Not a whole lot, in my opinion. Sure, you could go matchy-matchy but it might look like a pepto-bismal disaster. Worrying about pictures and the future re-use of bridesmaids dresses, I chose black with a few accents for the florals.

As an alternate, I have been considering a midnight shade of navy blue (along with the rest of the internet it seems...).

I know, subtle difference, right? I'm a designer, these subtle differences matter and maybe that blue has a little more pop than black. Nothing is set in stone - yet.
The response:
Black?  Black?  What is this? A funeral? Why black? 
This is after being told we are apparently having a "casual" wedding because we are serving poutine as a late night snack. Who knew?

What do you think? Is black chic or too sombre? These ladies look pretty happy.

Manolo for the Brides
Bizarrely enough, after the wedding inquisition she emailed my loving fiancee to tell him that she thought we had made a good choice with our caterer and that she only wants the best for us.

(if you just didn't get enough)

Money. It can make things uncomfortable.
I spent a long time paying my own way through school and an even longer time paying it back. I have one loan left. My fiancee and I also want to buy a house, after sorting out the wedding.
My family may contribute, but it's unlikely to be in the form of large sums of money.
My fiancee's mother is in her seventies, doesn't own her house and doesn't have a pension.
She still works.
She wants to help us, but frankly we are uneasy about it. We didn't ask, she offered.
We feel she should save her money for her and we should save money on the wedding wherever we can -  despite her desire for everything to "be the best".  She is critical and questioning because she wants it to be exactly that: the best day her son ever had.
I think it can still be amazing without blowing wads of cash, but am finding it a struggle in this city and with 100 guests which is why, to quote the Ranty Bride my house looks like Hurricane Michael's came barreling through (right now, it's a Category 3)
There are worse things in life than having someone who wants to help pay for your wedding, so instead of being upset at the critques and challenges I received, I'm strategizing for the next tasting...

No comments:

Post a Comment